Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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