Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
