"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
