Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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