Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
