I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The air taste purple.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
