put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
