Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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