Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
