I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My feet surprised me
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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