I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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