I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize