Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
