I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
