remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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