Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
