I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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