It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
