You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
