In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
