I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
