Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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