just tell him i said nine months
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
