I wannas sexs uuuuu
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
