All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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