your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
