Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
organizing the empties. That sober.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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