just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
