We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
