Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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