haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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