you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
