its not stalking. its research.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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