I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
