This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
