He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
