how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
