he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
