Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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