I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
