You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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