Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
