DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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