so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Little spoons don't ask big questions
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
