it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
