i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
