Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
