Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
