Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
