I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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