I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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