I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
