This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
